The Mouthful
by The Elven Daughter
Summary: Oneshot; What are four Slytherins doing in a gay bar in Muggle London?


The music coming from the Muggle nightclub, The Mouthful, washed over the shadowed group of witches and wizards.

"Why are we coming here again?" erupted from a rather perturbed girl in a school uniform.

"It's part of our Muggle Studies class. You know, Parkinson, the one that the doddering old fool is making all of the upper years in Slytherin take." She and the boy sneered at one another before looking at the club again.

"But sending us to a nightclub can't have been part of the project."

"We are supposed to observe Muggles in a natural environment. Not in a dungeon being tortured by our idiot parents and their friends. Hence why we have come here."

Blaise Zabini snorted a little. "That and Draco wants to get a closer look at the lack of clothing on some of those women, I'm sure."

Draco punched Zabini's shoulder but didn't bother to deny it.

"Besides, it'll be easier to have a little fun where no one knows who we are, or what we can do to them, or what they think we'll do to them."

Millicent spoke up for the first time since they'd left Hogwarts that night, "He does have a point Pansy. Besides, some of the men going in aren't too bad either."

Unfortunately, none of the Slytherins realized the punny nature of the club owners, nor that they had taken the name of the club from a comic sketch by George Carlin. The Slytherins were going into territory very few magical folk had, a gay Muggle nightclub.

The group transfigured their clothing to look a little more Muggle like, and magicked their way past the security guard, a big beefy woman at the front door. Once they entered the door they had a choice, upstairs or downstairs. The boys followed the girls down the stairs where they saw most of the women had flocked. None of them were prepared for the sights waiting for them. Many couples, all female couples at that, seemed to have decided that since they were in a slightly private place it made no sense not to be openly affectionate. Kisses were exchanged with a regular frequency and hands trailed along the edges of clothing and skin in noticeable fashion. They also saw that a few all male couples had come downstairs as well and were exchanging well meaning jibes between friends. Those couples were no less affectionate as well.

"The show upstairs is going to start in a few minutes, coming?" The Hogwarts students decided to go up to see what the floor show would be like. None of them quite prepared for anything that they had seen or were going to see.

A low melodious voice started singing out, "I am what I am, I don't need praise, I don't need pity."

The students were confused by the wolf whistles and cheers from the crowd. It's not like the song wasn't deliberately provocative or anything. Then when Blaise got a glance at the singer his eyes widened. "It's a guy in a dress." The other three looked at him and then at the stage, getting their first good look at the singer.

The singer was a tall Hispanic man with broad shoulders and a strong jaw line. He was wearing a sleek sequin purple dress with feathers along the neck line and the bottom which only reached midthigh. The four inch heels he wore were as bright and purple as the dress was. They had lost track of the song that he was singing and only realized that the singer had finished when the crowd around them started clapping.

The four of them looked at one another in confusion. This became mildly uncomfortable when Millicent felt someone's hand on her arse. She jumped and looked around at the woman who had just dared to touch her.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Just thought I'd say 'ello. Nothing wrong with that I hope." The woman's blue eyes sparkled at her.

"I would thank you to keep your hands to yourself." Millicent turned back around to her friends. "Let's leave now."

The other 3 nodded and turned to go as none of them wanted to deal with Millicent in a bad mood.

"Oi! Sweetheart, before you go." Millicent turned around to see the woman run over and could do nothing as a pair of tender, sloppy drunk lips met hers. "Just a little something for you to remember." Then the woman vanished into the crowd that was singing along and dancing to the drag queen's performance of Crazy Possessive by some American.

When they got outside and transfigured their clothing back, Milllicant turned to the others. "I hear a word about this night at any point in time; I will find the three of you and hunt you down like the pitiful creatures that you are. Understood?"

The three nodded, knowing that Millicent would not only follow through with such a threat, but probably kill them multiple ways to ensure the destruction of her new secret.

Millicent never told them how much she liked the way that the woman had kissed her. Nor did the three of them notice when she started sneaking out on a regular basis to go back to the Mouthful.


End file.
